Ladybug
by Sydelle
Summary: Awkward and random beginning, but it evolves to a plot! :OrnNaruSasu. Wait no. It's random the whole way through, but you know.
1. Chap 1

Older!Ladybug turned around to chastise Younger!Ladybug, who was ashamed, but reprehensible nonetheless.

"WHAT HAPPENED!" she screamed, "LOOK AT THIS BUNGLE! OUR HOUSE IS A MESS!"

Younger!Ladybug said nothing.

Until she decided to say something.

"I was nestled between these two drops of morning dew-" she began, but was interrupted by her mother.

"NESTLED IS USED INCORRECTLY! YOU CAN'T NESTLE YOURSELF IN BETWEEN DROPS OF DEW!" Older!Ladybug censured.

Younger!Ladybug said nothing.

Until she decided she wanted to say something.

So she did.

"Someone, incognito, decided to-"

"IT'S THAT GAUDY Younger!Grasshopper, ISN'T IT?"

"What?"

Older!Ladybug reiterated.

"No!" Younger!Ladybug screamed. "It wasn't her! You're only blaming her because you're a repugnant, bigotted old-"

Older!Ladybug fluttered her wings threateningly, and Younger!Ladybug shut up.

Until Older!Ladybug told her to continue.

"Well," now with a much quieter voice, "As I was sleeping between the two drops, mumblemumble came with a lunch-"

"A LUNCH YOU SAY? I BET IT WAS A **FRUGAL** LUNCH!" Older!Ladybug cried, "THAT STUPID GRASSHOPPER IS TOO STUPID TO GET ANYTHING BETTER; SHE'S SO STUPID SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THAT A PLANT IS ORANGE!"

Younger!Ladybug stopped herself from correcting her mother.

Until she decided to correct her anyway.

"They're NOT orange."

Older!Ladybug fluttered her wings threateningly and Younger!Ladybug flew away from the leaf.

She decided to stop under a mysterious yellow thing, and looked up to see that it was none other than a Spanish Chikeno Gigantino.

The Chikeno Gigantino looked down.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

Younger!Ladybug flew away until she saw a nice, tousled object moving around with a pink blob, and a blond blob.

There was another blob on the side too, but Younger!Ladybug found that one too shiny so she didn't look at it.

Younger!Ladybug went down to the darker blob to see if it would be a good nest for her. Despite the fact that ladybugs really don't nest in hair. But this a story, so of course we can pretend.

Younger!Ladybug, who we shall now call just plain old Ladybug (since her mother will no longer be in the story anymore, basically making her a completely pointless character, but anyway, it doesn't matter since this a run-on KIND OF sentence but it shouldn't really count because it's in parenthesis), went down to investiage the black blob.

On first glance, it looked like another Chikeno Gigantino, and Younger!Ladybug was scared. But it wasn't really.

"Sauce-kay!" the blond blob boomed when it seemed like the black blob was lacking behind, "Let's go. The broom closet is empty We have to report to Iruka-sensei."

Except Ladybug felt something was extremely wrong with the dialogue, but she couldn't place it. But us, the very intelligent readers, can tell that it is physically, much less literally, impossible to have strikethroughs when we talk. But it's fiction, so that's okay too.

The two blobs separated from the pink and shiny blob. The pink blob moved closer until it molded with the shiny blob.

Ladybug was too scared to look at them since she would be blinded by the shiny blob. So she decided to follow the other two blobs.

Whom we shall now call Sasuke and Naruto.

Because of pure coincidence.

Naruto and Sasuke veer off into the forest. Ladybug is suspicious. What're they doing together? Ladybug didn't think it was possible for a Chikeno and a Blondo!Whisker to get together...

But, **apparently she was _wrong_**.

---- To be continued. 


	2. Chap 2

Wind!Kaffy rustles the bushes and Ladybug flies off. Say goodbye to the ladybug everyone, we won't be seeing her ever again (so that makes a lot of my story just pointless shit, but I'm sure you're used to that already). 

Down, behind the bushes, two blobs were molding, passionate in their blob-making finding new ways to throw kunais.

Sasuke stops suddenly, and puts a finger on Naruto's mouth.

"Your teeth are white," Sasuke starts, but then remembers what he was trying to say: "Sh."

Naruto loses some of this enthusiasm, but stops anyway. "Is there someone here?"

Kaffy is silent, "..."

And then she decides to say, "wtf" and leaves on her merry windy way.

Sasuke thinks of how they got there. Thinking was hard for him, but he tried (Kakashi was very encouraging).

Oh yes. Naruto and him had decided to go to the broom closet to have safe, yet unprotected (it was so much more natural) sex to experiment with different kunais. The broom closet was too small, and his partner for life sparring partner decided he didn't have enough room to stretch, so they moved into the woods.

Sasuke nods, motioning for Naruto to get dressed.

They do.

Wind!Kaffy comes back and blows on their faces. And then she leaves again. Because she is such a leaver.

Naruto was looking shyly at him, and Sasuke knew what he was thinking (they were soulmates after all). Sasuke grinned a grin.

"Wow, that's a very grinful grin," said Naruto thoughtfully, grinning.

Uke-Sasuke came and grabbed Seme-Naruto, putting him ontop of himself, just like a surfboard, like Sasuke has seen done in the movies back when his parents were still alive and he was with his old boyfriend, Itachi, who was also conveniently his brother.

And despite the fact that the Sasuke and Naruto have just split in two, they're happy still because they were with each other.

And, no, it DOESN'T matter that it's physically impossible for something like that to happen. It IS fiction after all.

Sasuke and Board!Naruto decide to go to the beach, since Naruto was already a board it was closest to where they lay in the forest.

"Sasuke," Naruto coughs.

"Yes?" Sasuke asked softly, in what he hoped was a very attractive voice.

"Your chicken-hair is poking me."

Sasuke reddens.

From what? From love? Blood? Rocks? BIRD POOP? PERIOD? **ANGER**?  
**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	3. Chap 3

**Ladybug 3: **

The shrieks could be heard all the way from the South end of the beach.

"What's happening?" asked Naruto, pinching Sasuke a little so he could be let down. He'd decided a couple of minutes ago, that their love friendship wasn't worth all the pain he was receiving from Sasuke's hair.

Sasuke seemed unfazed however, and refused to let down the board boy. He did now though, yelping a little bit at the pain.

Naruto felt sorry once he heard Sasuke's cry. It sounded so helpless to him. So sad, so angry, and homosexual soft and lovable. Naruto moved his hand up to Sasuke's cheeks.

It was rather awkward since they were about the same height. But Naruto didn't mind.

"I'm sorry."

Sasuke wondered why his partner friend was apologizing, but didn't ask since he didn't want Naruto to know of his stupidity. He was able to hide it well enough so far, because he would always blame it on his old boyfriend brother.

Plus Sasuke trusted Kakashi.

The two were able to find their sensei somewhere within an agglomeration of confused girls. The girls were the ones doing the shrieking.

"Why are you screaming?" Naruto asked, jabbing his finger into a girl's chest. Sasuke watched jealously.

"Stupid girl Naruto," he thought, and wondered how there could be a strikethrough in his "thought". But before he could much ponder the situation, Naruto came back with a vanilla cone.

"Kakashi's in there," Naruto pointed, "The girls were screaming because he took his mask off."

Sasuke looked. He couldn't see anything.

Naruto had attached himself on Sasuke. Clinging desperately, he purred, "Do that cool thing where you fly up and your hair looks more impossible than ever."

Sasuke grinned down at Naruto.

"I will."

He got himself ready and flipped his hair slightly backward. He was beginning to lift his arms when-

"No wait."

"What?" Sasuke was disappointed as he saw Naruto walk towards the ocean. Naruto looks so carefree. His eyes were so big and blue. His whiskers... Where else have you seen such perfect, impossible-in-reality whiskers? Naruto's voice, his scratchy husky, MANLY voice.

That Naruto was using to call Sasuke over.

Sasuke cast a sad glance at his own hair (somehow) and walked towards Naruto.

Naruto looked pensive.

Because I am the author, I may go and dig into his mind and reveal his thoughts to you. But you mustn't repeat them to anyone else.

"Am I the man in this couple friendship?" he was thinking, and because he was only just a little smarter than the other blob, he did not have time to ponder the strikethroughs before he had another thought (Yes I know, two in one day. I'm being very kind).

Thought number two went: "Sasuke... he needs me. He's needy. He wears bandages. I'm sure he got that habit from Neji. Maybe he thinks that he has to be like Neji, and that's why he's wearing the bandages."

Naruto gasped out loud.

"Maybe... maybe he thinks he's not as angsty as Neji!"

Sasuke looked... thoughtful. But he wasn't really. He was just confused. Why was Naruto staring at him like that?

"It's ok."

Naruto put his warm hand - well no, it wasn't warm, it was cold - on Sasuke's, and undid his bandages.

Sasuke thought it was appropriate to express his love by moaning a little. But that only earned a reproved look from Naruto, so Sasuke decided the best thing to do was furrow his brow and act angsty.

Naruto stood on his tiptoes. He really didn't need to. But he was, because... it was more dramatic that way.

"I... I... The jeans are tight," Naruto said, in his soft, husky, manly voice.

"You're not wearing jeans," Sasuke pointed out. Naruto batted his eyelashes.

Sasuke undid them.

Naruto moaned.

"I love it when he moans," Sasuke started to think. He was going to add a "because" to the end of the sentence too, but because his mind only stretches so far, he wasn't able to.

But also because I'm the author, I will tell you what he was going to say. He was going to say that Naruto felt so good when he moans because Naruto's moan sounded tinkly.

Like Tinkerbell's, who was Sasuke's favourite character of all time.

But mainly, the little tinkery, and yet deep and moany, moan, reminded Sasuke of Itachi and his bells.

He wasn't going to tell Naruto though. He didn't like to talk about such things.

**OR DOES HE?**  
**To be continued...**


	4. Chap 4

**Ladybug:**

Naruto was still eating his vanilla cone when he was untying Sasuke's bandages. Sasuke found that he liked to watch Naruto lick.

But despite him being hypnotized by the sporadic rhythms of Naruto's tongue, Sasuke still wanted to know why his bandages were being undone; he'd thought that Naruto would like the bandages. It made him popular with the other guys ... girls ... people that he considered friends.

Naruto frowned at the bandages.

"What?"

"This spot here. It looks like blood."

Sasuke looked. He nodded.

"Were you cutting yourself?" Naruto narrowed his eyes. It was supposed to look threatening, but it didn't, Sasuke mused, it made Naruto look cute.

Sasuke shook his head.

"I like to copy Neji-"

Before he could explain himself however, a giant jellyfish was beginning to swim up to them. Sasuke felt it's tentacles nearing.

Well, actually he didn't. But he somehow knew because of his... shinobi instincts.

Uke-Sasuke hoisted Seme-Naruto up quickly and ran. Naruto started to cry because he dropped his cone.

Sasuke went back to get it.

And then they kept on running until they got to the crowd of girls who were greatly disparsing. Someone muttered that Kakashi put his mask back on.

After explaining to Kakashi that there was a giant jellyfish in the water, the two saw Kakashi turn deadly white. Well, not not deadly white. His one visible eye wiggled a bit and he jumped towards the water.

"No... I can't be... It's... It's... ITACHIGLARE!SOUFFLE! The villainous jellyfish that was yet another one of my enemies that I thought I'd slain. Except I didn't really think that I killed her. But I'm making this more dramatic by saying that right boys?"

Naruto was apalled.

"How could you make your sentences so long?"

Kakashi shrugged, his silver hair gleaming. Sasuke felt another stab of jealousy.

"I can make long sentences as we-" Sasuke stopped. What was he trying to say?

But before either of the two could comprehend the situation or think of a witty, yet dumb answer, Kakashi had gotten his kunai out and faced the jellyfish.

It was pandemonium. Utter chaos. Girls were running around, trying to find their way back to the stall. Some were even noble enough to search for their friends; some huddled behind beach balls; some pulled on Neji's hair.

"ItachiGlare!Jellyfish..." Sasuke wondered. "Why does that sound familiar... it's not like I knew anyone called Jellyfish, or Glare, or ChiGlare, or Are!Jell or... ITACHI!"

Sasuke threw Naruto down, apologizing quickly.

Naruto looked happy; now he wouldn't have to suffer the wrath of Sasuke's Chikeno hair.

But he soon grew worried as he saw Sasuke valiantly trudge down the beach... to...

His doom? The sea? Kakashi? Relinquishment? Sabotage relationships? Eat the jellyfish?  
**WHO KNOWS?**  
**To be continued...**  



	5. Chap 5

**Ladybug:**

While Kakashi fought the poor Souffle, Naruto and Sasuke watched from afar. Naruto was there because he didn't want to get closer. Sasuke was there because water scared him; he only went before since Naruto was there.

So now Sasuke just sat on the sand, and screamed expletive phrases at Souffle, "Oh #&! &! &(! NOW! &("

Naruto licked his cone.

After a while, the two decided it was too hot, what with Kakashi half naked, and the Sun beating heavily down on them.

Naruto had his cone.

Sasuke... he decided that dying of thirst wouldn't do him any good, so he walked to the ocean, thinking of how decisive he is.

Naruto watched. Never has Sasuke been so manly and decisive!

Sasuke drank some salt water. Instead of the cool, refreshing feeling he'd been expecting, the water burned his throat. Naruto ran towards his partner. See, there's no need for strikethroughs now, because even the DIMMEST of the DIM would've known by now that they're gay. Right. RIGHT? RIGHT! **RIGHT!**

Naruto paused behind Sasuke, his heart melting as Sasuke broke into great, hacking sobs coughs. (Oops, dunno where the sobbing came from)

He bent down beside the boy, and looked into Sasuke's pale... black eyes.

"It's ok."

Naruto let him lick his cone.

Sasuke stared at him with his eyes wide open. "But Naruto! I don't know if we're taking it too fast! Don't you think the cone's too big of a step?"

And he WOULD'VE silently added, "And I didn't tell you about Itachi", but he couldn't, because he was unable to retain that much of a thought.

Naruto however, was gaping at him.

"Sasuke. You... the sentence was so... _long!_"

Sasuke paused.

**OMGWTFHETALKEDFORALONGTIME!** What'll happen now:O  
**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	6. Chap 6

**A/N:  
**Shoot. I just noticed that the strikethroughs don't show. Ah well. I'm too lazy to fix everything. But if you see something strange, imagine a strikethrough where appropriate. I just copy it and paste it from my livejournal with the strikethroughs so.

AH WELL TOO BAD.

_

* * *

__Klang! Clang! Poke! Ekop! Gnalc! Gnalk!_

The fight between ItachiGlare!Souffle and Kakashi was getting repetitive exciting.

Sasuke however, instead of enjoying the fight, tottered nervously beside Naruto, wondering what to say now.

Well, at least he _would_ be wondering if he could still think for all the shock he and Naruto had received from his inconceivably long sentence: _"Don't you think the cone's too big of a step?"_

Naruto had recovered from the shock a while before (sixteen minutes), and decided to wait until Sasuke could speak again. He sat there still licking his cone (Holy sht that cone is huge).

"Well ok."

Naruto smiled at him.

We shall now focus on ItachiGlare!Souffle and Kakashi's fight.

Actually, we won't.

Let's turn our attention over to the horizon.

Ah! The horizon!

The apparent intersection of the earth and sky as seen by an observer!  
_Astronomy. _  
The sensible horizon.  
The celestial horizon.  
The limit of the theoretically possible universe.  
The range of one's knowledge, experience, or interest.  
_Geology. _  
A specific position in a stratigraphic column, such as the location of one or more fossils, that serves to identify the stratum with a particular period.  
A specific layer of soil or subsoil in a vertical cross section of land.

Well ok fine. But were we not enlightened? Were you not happy with the beauteous definition of the apparent intersection of the earth and sky as seen by an observer?

I will now put the leaf back into Lemony Snicket's book.

Continuing on... Sasuke, rather bored with Naruto's silence, decided to look for Sakura. Leaving the jellyfish, he began his search. He looked for her because her hair was nice to look at.

Sakura! Sakura! Sakura like a pink... pink... Oh no. His thought ran out. Oh well. (1)

Where could she be? He found her resting in her bathing suit on a nearby bench. (2)

Sakura didn't notice Sasuke. He decided people were ignoring him today, and tried his best to get her attention. He used his kunai to carve spots on the bench, his eyes to drill holes into a figurative one, and his nose to breathe loudly.

But Sakura was still silent.

Sasuke finally decided to use his ultimate weapon. He would poke her.

He did.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT $&()!" Sakura screamed violently.

"Wow you sure scream violently."

"What did you expect? I was forehead!angsting..." she muttered, mildly surprised at his vocabulary. "Say... Sasuke. I didn't know your mental ability rose above that of a Teletubby's."

Sasuke grinned.

"I learned it from Neggie Leggie!"

The female ninja frowned.

"Oh! Neji?"

"Nevermind," she waved him away, "Didn't expect much of a conversation from you anyway."

There was silence as Sasuke decided to, summoning ALL his manliness, sit down in the sand and obssess over the pink of his teammate's hair.

Sakura noticed. She turned around.

OMG! NUUUUU!** RUN SAUCE-KAY RUN!**  
**To be Continued...**

(1) Wtf. Sasuke is almost based on me.  
(2) I haven't actually seen a bench on a beach. But that's ok.


End file.
